You're currently viewing Part 4 of a continuing story.

Part 1 [link]
Part 2 [link]
Part 3 [link]
Part 4 [link]
Part 5 [link]
Part 6 [link]
Part 7 [link]
Part 8 [link]
Part 9 [link]
Part 10 [link]
Part 11 [link]


*** Sailor Moon continues her battle with the evil Sailor’s Moon! ***

Dribble and slobber oozed out of Sarina’s mouth as she slept in peace. She and the other Sailor Scouts were blissfully unaware that they were resting upon the middle of a road in the shopping district.

Quietly dreaming away, she is ripped asunder by screeching and squealing.

“Hunh…. Whah-h?”, says Sarina opening her eyes, the world was somewhat overly bright and vertically rotated.

An old man’s voice squeals in horror, “Me leg! Me beautiful leg!.. Ya treacherous tart!

Look ad whatya dun!”

Sarina rolls over and wipes her mouth dry, she groggily stands up, a distinct smell of rotted fish fills the air.

“Shut up, you sicko freak!”, says Sarina as she attempts to rub her sore head. Realizing there is still a revolver in her hand, she changes and rubs tenderly with the other. Then drawing fingers to the bridge of her nose and pressing harshly, a mild release from pain is achieved.

“Ya stupid yellow haired floosy! Ya shot me precious leg! Me one-of-a-kind gold patternated 1650 duke of Corning!”, squealed the filthy old man.

Not even thinking about the consequences Sarina points the gun at the shrilling noise and squeezes the trigger.

KA-BLAM!

*Splinter!*

“OH GOD!”, screams the old man. “ Percival!”

“Ye shot me Percival! Ye heartless sea-hag!”, says the old man who begins to cry. The old man, with what seemed like a full polar reversal delicately leans over to pick up the fragmented pieces of a broken purple octopus.

The octopus, so old and desiccated that it had gone rock solid with age was now in enough pieces to resemble a jigsaw. He cradled them tenderly in his arms rocking back and forth whilst he sung a quiet tune, much like someone holding a baby.

“Geesus, now I’ve seen everything.”, says Sarina closing her eyes to rub away her piercing headache.

Sarina hears the mumbles and grumbles of her friends as they slowly rouse from the unexpected slumber.

“Oh god, did a truck just hit me?”, says Sailor Venus standing up and loosening her hair tie.

“Me too.”, says Sailor Jupiter who clasps her head in agony.

When the old man had sung out a short sea shanty, he became wild faced and began to spit out his words, “By the seven seas ye scurvyied jelly-wench. You’ll ever regret the day ye shot Percival! I’ll stab ya all!”

Sarina didn’t take a moment think, she just kept squeezing the trigger over and over. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”

KA-POW-POW-POW-POW!.!.!, rang out the bullets.

“Ahhhh!”, squealed the old man.

In one hand he clutched his blood spraying right ear, and the other held his oozing hip. The remains of Percival the octopus lay strewn far across the road. Realizing he had discarded his most treasured possession without thought he glanced to it’s powdery remains.

“Nooooo-o-o-o..o……o”, says the old man now bleeding from several flesh wounds. “..Percy…”

Sarina burning with tiredness, migraine and about to blow her top walks over and grabs the seated man by his jacket, lifting it up high, he is forced to look at her. Sarina tosses her empty gun away and withdraws a shiny, fully loaded pistol and pushes it hard up his nose.

“Now listen here you disgusting germ!”, says Sarina. “I’m fed up with you scum-sucking, twisted-freak perverts, always looking to prey on some unsuspecting girl.” She pushes the gun up higher, forcing the old man to tears. “I – will – say – this - just - once. You so much as make a peep, I will personally splatter your ass over that mailbox.” She pushes the old man making him lose his balance guiding him to look at the mailbox on the side of the road. “Then I’ll vacuum up Percival, shove him in a bucket and make Mercury pee in it!”

“Hey!”, says Sailor Mercury.

“No! You wouldn’t dare, not to me beautiful Percival.”, says the old man in a nasal voice.

Sarina bends down and puts her face leveled to his. She squints her eyes harshly, “After that, I’m gunna get that old fence post and mine you for gems. Just like bluey over there.” Sarina pushes hard with the gun working his head over to the direction of the last dispatched alien.

The old man’s eyes widen in terror as he sees the shambles of meat and lumps that once made up an extra terrestrial visitor. It dawns upon him that he is not talking to an ordinary girl. He’s talking to a complete, psychopathic, sadistically perverse monster. He looks back to her face relaying his horror. Fear swells in his thoughts as consequences of any new action would engage her frightening wrath.

"I-I- I’m sorry miss.”, says the old man in a nasal tone. “It’s a problem I have. Here, here, take my things.” The man scratches around to empty his pockets while Sarina’s eyes pierce into his.

The old man withdraws a phone and puts it on the ground.
Sailor Moon shoots the cell phone. She then puts the burning hot gun back onto his nose, sizzling it loudly.

The old man wincing in pain withdraws his wallet in terror. He places it delicately on the ground.

“Shouldn’t we do something?”, says Sailor Mercury.

“Like what? She’s gone totally birko. What can we do?”, says Sailor Venus.

“ Perhaps we should sing her a song?”, says Sailor Mercury, “To bring her around.”

“Yeah good idea.”, says Sailor Jupiter, who immediately sings an AC-DC classic for all to hear, “I’m on a highway to hell! Wooo-ooo, I’m on a highway to hell!”

“Not that kind of song Lita!”, says Mercury.

“Mah?”, says Sailor Mars.

“There’s eight thousand in there.”, pleads the old man.

“Not good enough!”, says Sarina.

“On my mothers life, it’s all I got. I-I’ll hand myself in right now, I promise, on Percival’s grave. Here, here are keys. My car, the green one. Take it! Take it! P-l-e-a-s-e!”

“Not - good - enough!”, says Sarina. “I still want to mine you and gut you like a fish.”

“I’ve no gem! No gem!”, says the man in hysteria. “It’s a thing I’ve been doing all my life! Yes, that’s it! P-l-e-a-s-e! You were going to be my first, I just wanted your ‘Sailors outfit.’ I’m a sea captain see. Nothing more, it’s the truth! Nothing - nothing more!” Tears flood out of the old man’s eyes.

Sarina standing at full height plants a forceful boot to the center of his chest forcing him backward, his impacting head making a loud crack on the pavement.

“Oh crap!”, says the old man, losing his accent. Reaching behind he feels for any bleeding, but as he searches he sees Sailor Moon angling a gun into the center of his forehead.

“Five!”, counts Sarina

“Oh crap!”, says the old man.

“Four!”

In a heartbeat, the old bleeding man leapt up and began to run to the police station a close distance away. “Sanctuary!” he thought.

“Three!”

The old man strains his muscles running as fast as he can, his only chance to live. Tears cascade down his face as he runs for his life. Pound, pound, pound go his footsteps on the road. He hears the distant voice he didn’t want to hear.

“Two!”

With his heart jumping out of his chest, the old man recalls the pile of blue flesh that was her last victim.

“Shit, this girl isn’t natural!”, says the old man struggling to breath in enough air to keep him running at top speed.

“One!”, says a far away voice.

Never in the history of human kind had such an old man run so fast for so long. Categorically, his effort would have made and remained undefeated in the Guinness Book of World Records if it wasn’t for one thing.

“Zero!”

KA-BLAM!.!.!

The sharp sting of hot, boiling metal singes the old man in his right buttock cheek. His leg fails and as he topples to the gravelly road, with one thing permanently lodged in his brain, “That chick ain’t natural!”
His hysteria didn’t quell, he could see the Police station so near. He couldn’t feel his body anymore only his heart tearing like a train in his chest to keep him moving, so he ran, ran and he ran.

“Man look at that old codger run!”, says Sarina with a broad grin. “One psycho-tard down.” Sarina then collects her discarded gun and trophies while the others look curiously at her.

“Was that really necessary?”, says Sailor Venus who gives Sarina a stern, disapproving look, when all of a sudden something bright, shiny catches Sarina’s eye.

“Oh.. my.. god!”, says Sarina spying the broken shop window she caused earlier. Inside she could see a wall of artistic roses and a scene-scape of orange.

Equally to all of the girls surprise, Sailor Moon starts ripping off her clothes as she races inside.
Curious, stepping carefully over the broken glass the Sailor Scouts follow her in.

To all of their surprise, Sarina was completely naked, all but for tossing her long flowing hair over her body.

Collectively each of the Sailor Scouts look at her, announcing, “What are you doing!?”

“Oh my god! Cover up!”, says Sailor Venus.

“Quick! Someone take a picture!”, says Sarina. “Darion will totally go nuts for this.”

“Someone’s not getting any luvin…mah?”, says Sailor Mars in a childlike tone.

With no person offering to take a photo, Sarina asks, “What’s wrong? Don’t I look ok in this?”

“Lose the head.”, says Sailor Venus.

“Oh, right.”, says Sarina. The retained alien head was clasped by one of it’s horns, Sarina forcibly hurled it out the window. Cluc, cluc, cluc down the road it bounced and rolled.

“Ok, come on. This will make Darion go hot.”, says an eager Sarina.

The Sailor Scouts all looked at one another and finished at Sailor Mercury.

“Fine, but this really seems wrong.”, says Ami.

Taking her communicator she flips it into camera mode and snaps a high resolution image.

Sarina rushes over and stands naked next to Ami while the others gather about to see the captured photo. Sailor Mars, childishly covering her mouth, giggles quietly to herself while pointing to Sarina’s naked bits. “Someone’s not getting any ac-shon, hee-hee, hee-hee…. Mah?”

Sarina looks at the picture impressed with herself, “Great! I actually look good this time. I won’t even have to Photoshop it!”

Afterwards, Sarina collected her things and began to dress again.

Each of them hugged Mars to bring her around, but she only seemed to come good when Sarina hid the weapons.

But, as they proceeded to walk to the window, Sarina held back, “Wait! My spider sense is tingling.”

Each of the scouts looked at her. Sailor Mars broke the silence, “Mah?”

"Mine too - I mean, I sense it. Something evil.", says Mina.

“Quick Ami, signal for Luna!”, says Sarina anxiously, “Hurry!”

Ami complies and Sailor Venus steps through the opening.

“OH NO!!!”, says Mina in shock.

“What is it?”, says Sailor Jupiter.

“Zombies! Everywhere!”, says Mina.

Sailor Moon pulls up her underwear.


(To be continued....)

(TOTAL APPOLOGIES TO ALL SAILOR MOON FANS!.!.!)


( By the way, you can print this out, post it on your website etc, I don't mind. Please keep the webaddress on, then more people come to visit and I end up doing more cartoons. )