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*** Sailor Moon looses it ***

“You know something, I’ve been busting my ass putting you dam cosmic freaks away! Only to have some other megalomaniac, fat-head, suck-hole take another shot at universal obliteration.”, says Sailor Moon.

“No - more! Got it!”

“Oh no, she’s-gonna-do-it, she’s-gonna-do-it.”, mumbles a distressed Sailor Mars.

Sailor Moon kicks the creature with her boot and waves a gun at it’s head , “You hear me! No more missis nice Moon!”

The creature cringes and shakes, it burgles out a whimpering reply, “Bluh,.. Kuh,.. Fuh, Yoh, Sloh!”, blood pours from it’s mouth, choking it’s remaining sounds.

“Did - I - just - HEAR you correctly!!!”, yells Sailor Moon.

A bright red boot pounds furiously into the creatures exposed stomach causing it to recoil from the crushing impact. The sickening crunch of several ribs breaking makes the monster whimper and shake it’s head in a ‘no-no’ fashion.

“It’s Dirty Harry, right? She’s imitating Dirty Harry.”, says Sailor Venus.

“I think she’s had a complete psychotic breakdown!”, says Sailor Mercury.

Sailor Mars starts to dribble and shake.

Now coiled over on it’s back, the creature balls up to protect it’s bullet ridden body while continuing to shake it’s head from side to side.

Sailor Moon levels the gun to it once more. The creature freezes.

“No fricken, deviant, pervert, ass crawling, turd burgling, sicko from another galaxy EVER calls ME THAT!!”

Realizing it’s mistake, the creatures words, conveyed incorrectly had the worst possible effect. They bought him a few less seconds of life.

“Oh-my-god, oh-my-god, oh-my-god, she’s-gonna-do-it”, mumbles Sailor Mars who now starts slapping the side of her face frantically.

“Lara Croft? Hmm…”, wonders Sailor Venus, “I know! It’s got to be Die Hard. She’s trying to be Die Hard.”

“But she hasn’t said Yippie Ki-Aaa Mother Fluffer at all.”, says Sailor Jupiter.

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”, says Sailor Venus.



(Narration: The scene fades to black….)



KA-BLAM!

Chink, ka-chink - chink.

Burgle, buh! Buhhhh..h….h……….h

“Oh shit! She really did it! Oh-my-god, oh-my-god, nnnnnh!”, panics Sailor Mars.

“Welcome to Earth! Ass-hole!”, says Sailor Moon.

Part 3 [link]

(TOTAL APPOLOGIES TO ALL SAILOR MOON FANS!.!.!)

(By the way, you can print this out, post it on your website etc, I don't mind. Please keep the webaddress on, then more people come to visit and I end up doing more cartoons. )